Long lost love, Never found again
by Yuna Of Besaid
Summary: Baralai's P.O.V. War is at Spira once more but not fuelled by their leaders. With Gippal a secret visitor to both Nooj and Baralai and Paine thought long dead, the world is short of love. None know this more than the Praetor who's heart is still mending.
1. Prologue

So today in english language, we were looking at six word stories. I have made one and would like to expand on it. This is the prologue to the story and I would give away who the other person is, but the main P.O.V is Baralai. The six word story is in bold.

Disclaimer: I do not own the FFX-2 characters, settings or events. I do own this six word story though.

* * *

_**Long lost love, never found again**_

_For what is a rose, if not eternal? The rose is a symbol of love through the ages, yet how unfair it is that a rose, a real red rose, can just wilt and die after only a hour of life. How unfair it is that _

_mankind can place their entire feelings into one sentiment and be returned nothing more than crumpled red petals. Roses aren't beautiful. They are an ugly thing which holds more truth in the _

_sting in its thorns than the colour of its blossom. Roses represent a promise. A promise of love. Roses are liars. They are a false tradition with nothing more than heartbreak to hold. Roses die. _

_Love dies. Passion dies. But I just fade away..._


	2. Chapter 1

Hi all, this is not over, this is only another short chapter. Seriously, I can't write the depressing stuff, always turns to romance. Anyway. Here is a story attempt!

Disclaimer: I own the non-existent story line but no characters or places.

* * *

_There she lay, as beautiful as the day we had first met. The white sheets around her just emphasised it more than anyone would ever know. I stared blindly at the meek figure asleep in the _

_bed, unaware of my presence_ _in the room. Her hands, slightly curled were blotched with ink, an obvious attempt at a farewell letter. My eyes travelled up her unconscious form to her face. Her _

_beautiful face, free from pain and anger yet translucent against the cream pillow below her resting head. Her hair, loosely scattered along the pillow, dark, without strength, had given up and lay_

_its self to rest. Her lips, slightly open in her daze, unaware that they were a wishful target to kiss, for the last time. To me she still held the beauty that had captured me the first time we met,_

_but her soul, her character, her lifeforce, had left her long before her body could comprehend. She had given up, eyes closed forever, lips sealed for eternity, tears held eternal. To look one more _

_time into the swirling colour of her eyes and see only the future before us. No more. I dared with myself and looked down at what had changed her, embedded into her smooth skin, piercing _

_metal lay. Her skin grew moist from what I assumed was my own tears. Holding my breath to reserve my emotions I turned one last time to her face, upon her lips I left my farewell. An eternal kiss, which I would never forget._

_And upon the table, where her letter lay,_

_I left my heart and soul, in the form _

_of a _

_single red rose_


	3. Chapter 2

Hello all. Fanfiction locked me out for ages so no updating has yet happened. Oh well. Its here now. Chapter three of this story will go more into the story that the prose. Okay, lets gooo.

Disclaimer: FFX-2 is not my property.

* * *

_"I love you." I whispered, an awkward silence following on for what seemed like an eternity. What was I expecting anyway? Its not like she would rise up from her statue-like attitude and return to me, hug me tightly and tell me the same. And I knew it to be true because the dead can't speak. I accepted that. It seemed like hours had passed, I sat silently on the end of her bed, staring at her gentle face until the sun began to rise. Tearing my heart in millions of pieces I rose up and forced myself to walk away from the only woman I would ever love._

The alarm rang loudly, pulling me away from the cold dream I had dreamed for the past two years. I waved my hand around blindly, aiming at random spots of air until the ringing stopped. Quite obviously I was confused by this since I hadn't even touched the cruel machina. I peered over the blankets that had found their way over my head again and quickly covered my eyes from the sharps rays of sunlight that bounced through my window, which I hadn't opened. Uncovering my sore eyes I noticed that I wasn't the only one in the room and as expected, I was shocked by whom I saw.

"G-Gippal?" I stutter,unable to believe that the mischievous Al Bhed was in my room, MY room in the head quarters of New Yevon. Memories of the Crimson Squad flashed through my tired brain, focusing on events where we had all been together, happy and alive. The blonde Al Bhed grinned, clumsily walking towards me in his relaxed manner. He flung himself on the end of the bed, propping his head up with his elbow lent on the covers.

"Long time no see Lai. Although I didn't expect to be seeing so much of you." He said laughing like he was back in the sand, playing with Nooj's limbs. I turned around, looking towards the mirror to see what he was referring to. Unlike the man before me, I preference to sleep more dignified by actually wearing clothes to bed. Staring into the mirror I saw what he meant and pondered how I could actually have woken up with the sheets over my head and no where else. If anyone had walked in, other than Gippal, they would have thought it was the work of the youth league, trying to smother me in my sleep. I gave a small chuckle at this thought and returned my attention to Gippal.

"May I enquire why you are here?" I asked making him raise his eyebrows in response. I'd seen Gippal many times after- after the incident with Nooj but never had he done this.

"Oh very sorry your Lordship. How rude of one not to introduce the reason for ones attendance." Gippal mocked, pretending to bow at the end. Despite the sarcasm, I understood what Gippal meant.

"I really haven't changed Gippal. Its just hard to get out of Praetor mode when everyone is always interrupting you." I smiled emphasising the interrupting bit, standing up so I wasn't found with a strange Al Bhed at the base of my bed by the monks.

"I know. Just thought I'd see my old pal. It has been two weeks you know and with the whole Al Bhed Yevonite feud still in the air, coming to see you at night was the best option. By the way, you might want to hire new guards. Wasn't stopped once on my way here. Just strolled in casually." Gippal smirked, rolling over so he was facing the ceiling. I chuckled softly again as I leant against the window seat.

"Normal people ring first." I smiled, pointing to the comm-sphere. Yevon had reverted to using machina in a more liberal sense now.

"But if I rang it wouldn't be a surprise now, would it?" He grinned, rolling off the bed and onto the floor with a loud bang. I prayed the guards didn't suspect something was going on in here.

"You okay Gippal?" I asked, grinning as I watched the injured blonde struggle to stand without holding on to the bed.

"Whatever." He scowled, rolling his eyes at me. Nothing had changed, same old Gippal. No one actually new that we were in contact though. As Gippal had rightly said, the feud was too strong to even consider announcing that the praetors best friend was Al Bhed, not yet anyway. "Anyway, I have some news for you man. And after hearing what you said in your sleep I think you need to know." He said, reverting to serious Gippal. The fact he was referring to my dream scared me. I didn't even know I talked in my sleep and I had never told Gippal, well anyone, about _her._

_"_What? I don't know what you're tal-"

"Oh get over yourself Lai. We knew then and I know now. That's why i've come." Gippal said, voices lightly raised to get my attention.

"She's alive Baralai."

My eyebrows raised, I didn't know what to say. What to think, who to tell. All I could think of is how she looked, near dead in that bed all so long ago. I tried to speak but no words would come out. Should I believe him? Why would be lie anyway? Everything was getting blurry. He took a step towards me and place a hand on my shoulder smiling.

"Paine's alive."


	4. Chapter 3

Hi all, long long break away I'm afraid. Been revising and doing coursework. Time to kick back slightly with a short chapter maybe...

Disclaimer: I do not own FFX-2 or any of its characters.

* * *

I awoke to hear muffled voiced above me. Uh, if only I could actually remember what happened prior to the voices. I was certain I could detect Gippal's voice and another familiar, yet gruff tone.

"Gippal, are you trying to kill him?" The gruff voice complained. I felt something prod my arm sharply. I automatically gave a sharp intake of air.

"Chill out Noojster." Nooj, of course! Who else could possibly be scolding Gippal so early in the day. "I mean he just passed out. He's fine. I bet he can already hear us." A shuffling of feet was detectable from my left followed by a comforting clicking of heels. Those heels...so vague in my memory yet so important to in my life. A noise that awoke me every night in a cold sweat. A small clicking that meant the world to me yet could never be recovered. The sound of-

"Paine!" I growled to myself, blissfully forgetting that I had company. I shot up, dizziness shortly following my attempt to recover. I staggered backwards slightly, only to be stopped by a strong but feminine pair of gloved arms. Black satin gloves. I dared with my conscience, not wishing this to be a cruel trick of a deranged mind but to terrified to confront the object of my struggled. I wasn't given very long to think. Before I could make an appropriate decision, my will was forced away from me. The black satin gloves released their hold on my statue-like state and I was once again aware of the sound of clicking heels on the polished marble floor of my bedroom. Within a second my mind was swept blank. Paine.

"So I see Yevon still likes its secrets after all." I registered a woman's voice declare. I had no other choice, I had to know. Slowly I turned to where the voice was, every heart beat felt like an hour had passed. Finally I looked up from the floor, to see her there.

"Is this a dream?" I whispered. Unable to even contemplate that the events in front of me were real. The woman in front of me rolled her eyes and gave a small laugh which she covered with her gloved hand. The heart beats still felt like hours as she made her way towards me, elegant in an unknown way. Indescribably beautiful and eternally wonderful. She finally reached me, streaching her hand out towards my arm. Could this really be real? Was I dead? I must be dead. So I guess the Youth League really did smother me in my sleep...

"Ow." I cried, stepping back as the angel in front of me pinched my arm, really hard too. "Was there any need for that?" I asked, slightly angered that after waiting for this moment for so long all I received was physical abuse. She laughed again.

"See? Not dreaming. And before you ask, you're not dead either. And neither am I." She sternly told me. Putting into my perspective that we were all alive and together, at last. A smile slowly crept onto my lips. So many thoughts arose in my mind, everyone ending in 'I Love you' but me, being the ever so clever praetor, settled on.

"How did you all get into my bedroom?" Smooth Baralai, real smooth. A small amount of laughter arose again, this time from everyone.

"You need to find better guards, Baralai." Nooj barked, hobbling over to me and placing a hand on my shoulder.

"But the dispute?" I asked. No one in Spira gets on any more. Even after our huge speech in Luca, but that was years ago. three to be precise.

"Spira will never be in peace. It is a fact we will always be faced with. As long as there is humanity there will never be agreement, or peace." Nooj said, in a somewhat softer voice. I lowered my eyes to the ground.

"It is a saddening truth, but its a truth none-the-less." Paine said, folding her arms over her chest and pacing the floors of my bedroom. "But something must be done to prevent a war."

"Paine...I-" I began, wanting her to know so much about the past year and wanting to explain how I felt. She looked up at me, waiting for the rest of my sentence. The sentence that wouldn't come.

"I think before we plan the ultimate revival of peace in spira, you guys need to talk some stuff out." Gippal ushered, pushing me towards her and pulling Nooj away to the exit. "Come on Noojster. Its only fair..." he grinned, bowing as he wandered out the door.

"We'll see you soon." Nooj said, nodding his head and leaving shortly after. I turned around, unable to believe that everything that had just happened was real.

"Paine, I-" I started again, this time she placed her hand over my mouth and forced me to sit on the end of my bed.

"Listen to my story, Lai." She said, walking over to the balcony where the morning light was starting to rise.


	5. Chapter 4

Another chapter, this one may be depressing as I wrote it whilst listening to 'Letting go' by Sozzi.

Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy x-2.

* * *

"They told me I had suffered from a comma. Ha, like I needed to be told that. Just because my body wasn't responsive doesn't mean this didn't work." Paine said, pointing to her head. I sat still, waiting for her to go on. She stood very still, watching the early morning sunrise from my balcony, her back facing me. "It was awfully frustrating, having people run around you 24/7 telling everyone that this isn't working or this has happened and not being able to react. But I remember everything. I remember you." She said, turning around to face me finally, a small smile playing on her lips. "You gave up on me Baralai. And I understand why." She said, swiftly walking over to where I sat to stop me from protesting. "I do understand. You had to let go, move on with your life. From what Gippal has told me you didn't. For that I'm sorry." Paine continued, staring down at her gloved hands which I now noticed contained an aged letter still unopened. "You know, you never read my letter. The nurse gave it to me when I left the hospital. I wrote it when I still had control over my limbs." She smiled, forcing the paper into my hand. "I want you to read it. I know it doesn't have any meaning any more but I think you should." Paine ushered, pushing my hands toward my chest and walking over to the door.

"But what about the rest?" I asked, bewildered. Two years since we last talked and not even an explanation. "I thought you were dead." I quietly added, the words hurting me more than a thousand knives in the back. This should be a happy day, but instead its just confusing.

"Meet me in the gardens after you've read that. I've got to settle a score." She replied, looking between my confused face and the exit. After what felt like hours she left the room, the door clicking shut behind her. I turned to face the letter, the one I never opened. I took a deep breath, wondering if my life would have been different if I just read her letter before I left her that day.

_Dearest Baralai,_

_I'm not good at this stuff. I know I should be, being a girl and all, but I'm not_

_so I guess you'll have to make do with this terrible excuse for a letter. Before you leave this room I want you to know how much you've impacted my life. A life which, although possibly near an end now, never knew true happiness. That was until I met you guys, even Nooj isn't that bad. Don't tell him that though, I don't want it going to his head. But seriously,you guys have shown me what's worth living for. Especially you Baralai. Kind, sweet Baralai, if I should die I know it will effect you the most. Nooj has Leblanc and Gippal has Rikku but you, who do you have? I wish I had told you this earlier Baralai, but I love you. I always have. And I know you love me too. Maybe if I had told you then we'd be living in some big house far away from this mess. Maybe I wouldn't be in this state now, but everything happens for a reason and you have to move on. I know you'll make the most out of your life with or without me. You have to let go now. I'm sorry. Yevon, this is so unlike me. If there is an afterlife i'll put in a good word for you. Whatever happens, even if in twenty years you forget all about me, don't forget these three things. Just live life to the fullest, never regret anything and find true love._

_Love always,_

_Paine._

She loved me too. She wanted me to be happy. She wanted me to live to the fullest. Did I achieve any of this? No. I spent all these years since wondering what if. If Paine had died, I would have fulfilled none of her wishes. She was selfless. She told me she loved me but wanted me to move on for my own happiness. She told me to have a good life, even if I forgot her. How could I forget the one thing that I ever loved more than life itself. Had I read that letter before I left i'm sure my life would have been very different, no doubt. I looked out of the window to the morning sky contemplating my existence. This conflict of race and class had almost taken the most precious thing away from me, how many other families were missing loved ones this very day? How many fathers had died for their sons and daughters? How many wives had died in vain? How many brothers had gone out one day and never came back? Just how many people were in the same ship as the preator? How many where as lucky as I to find their companions again?

"Oh Paine. Something must be done to stop the madness." I whispered, clenching my fists together in anger. Not a single day had gone past when I didn't think about her and the reason why I believed her dead. I resolved to find the strength to stop the pain, for her. Whatever the cost I would give my Paine the perfect world she deserved.


	6. Chapter 5

After a long period of inactivity I feel the need to update this story. Probably not the best chapter ever

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to FFX-2

* * *

"Is this real?" I asked, drifting through what appeared to be a thick fog that swept the floors of the temple garden. The plants rose high up above the lattice arches entangling amongst the wooden support. I could faintly hear the fountain in the distance trickling delicately.

"As real as you want it to be..." I heard her voice from behind me. I turned around, staring at the two ruby eyes that had captivated my dreams and filled my nightmares.

"Forgive me. Its hard to believe all this after all these years." I whispered back. _I've already lost you twice... _The early morning fog began to disband and I could clearly see the fountain wall in front of me. There she sat down, offering me a seat too. "I've read it." I began, unsure as to where to start with Paine. "There are things. I need to know..." I started, trailing off when I realised what I always wanted could never be.

"There are things in this life not even you can comprehend, Baralai." She whispered.

"I'm sure." I responded trying to make sense of her comment. "I've read your note..." I continued, pressing the matter further.

"What of it?" The ruby eyed woman stoicly asked, flicking a stray hair from her eye, avoiding looking into my face.

"It covered a few matters in which I take severe interest." I murmured, dragging my knees up to my chest, balancing on the fountain wall precariously. "Namely a matter of lo-"

"That's a very old note Baralai." She interrupted, looking away from me completely. "Feelings change over time." She coldly added, I could feel my heart aching after every syllable.

"Mine never did." I announced, hurt and confused. Why had she come here to torment me with promises of fake love which she takes from my very soul?

"I never said mine changed, I just incurred that for some people, time changes their outlook on life." The warrior continued smoothly, staring at her feet.

"I thought perhaps-"

"Things don't work like that Baralai. I can't reappear into your life and just settle down as your girlfriend, or whatever you want. It doesn't work like that-"

"I've already lost you twice Paine!" I cried, heartbroken, determined to keep her in the vicinity of my safety. "Did you think about that?" I continued, voice slightly raised, I was hurt. "Did you ever consider the torment my soul has been for the last two years or the two years before that?"

"I am not the praetor's Lapdog, 'Lai. I can't sit down and be how you want me to be. I can't be the delicate little wife of the praetor." She argued, eyes full of the fire I loved.

"So you've thought far enough into our relationship as to dread being my wife. Ironic." I chuckled. Her argument failing.

"I'm not here to start a conquest." She growled angrily.

"No, you're not. Because you can't even admit it to yourself any more Paine. I love you. Nothing can change that. Not distance, not time. Not even death. Have I not proved that to you time and time again? And if you're not here for me, why are you here? Admit it, you are meant to be here. You are meant to be with me." I cried out in a passion. Why couldn't she admit it. I knew her, I knew everything about her.

"You know they say, if you truly love something you'll let it be free." She calmly quoted, sitting back down.

"Who said anything to contradict that?" I argued, ruffled up in the mist of the fight.

"Look, can't we make a deal? I'll stay here in Bevelle for a few months and see how my feelings progress." She proposed. I snorted with jest.

"You make it sound like I'm forcing you to stay." She looked at me in honesty, deep into the eyes.

"You are, Baralai. I cannot escape your power...I return to you because I know I have too." She replied, confusing me further. One minute she declares her lack of love for me and now she says she is drawn to me, held in my power.

"They say love is like a drug. Powerful and addictive." I joked, she scowled at me, betraying her truth in her eyes. She was right though. I knew she loved me with conviction. Just as she knew it too. But now was not the time.

"The roses are in bloom early this year." She commented, smelling the blood red flower gently. The red contrasted drastically with her pale face.

"I know. They came out for you."


	7. Chapter 6

I know this has been a while in the making but i've been in real life land and its send me spiralling back here

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to this game or the song 'Crystal' by Stevie Nicks. It is a truly beautiful song and I suggest you listen to it. It may explain this better.

* * *

I watched the waves lap up against the shore, the grey sand forming a barrier against the water but failing to stop the flood from coming. I reached out to the surf and waited for the next wave to wash over me. I found it a funny sort of metaphor for the events that had unfolded between me and … _her._ I knew after that conversation the sea was the only place I could go to clear my mind, but the more I watched the ocean's pace the more it reminded me of her words. _Feelings change over time._ Like the sand, she was putting up a barrier to me, but the waves, the emotion of love would seep through casually until the wall crumble down. I felt the wetness reach my hand. _I turned around and the water was closing around me. _Those waves of love had never left me, but now they were encasing me like the sea, I knew what was happening yet I was still struck by the sudden coldness. After everything, did she come this far just to break me down again? If that was the case the sea could take me. I would let it flow over me, through me, carry me away on its back until all I knew was a blur of crystal. I lay there on the sand knowing the water was rising but not really caring. If her love was like the sea I'd happily drown my lungs until I was screaming her name in gasps. But the sea wasn't like Paine's love. Her love wasn't ready to drown me yet... but the crystal blue was. I felt the fight develop in my head. Remain heartbroken waiting for the figurative flood, or just stay and accept the literal one. Neither posed an outcome I much liked. To live but not have love, or to die and not have life... _I turned around and the water was closing around me... like love...around me. _

"Why fight?" I whispered, running my hand through my hair and holding my breath as the next wave hit me in the face. The next couple of waves were gentle, building up for the one that would drag me away...the world would turn blue, and life would seem clear...

"What a pitiful way to end ones self, Praetor." A gruff voice announced, grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the surf as I let my breath go finally. I spluttered uncontrollably as the salt water that entered my mouth burnt my lungs. The sea had that much in common with love at least. When I was safely away from the incoming tide I blinked and saw Nooj staring disapprovingly at me, a mess on the sand. Hair slick from the water, sand covering my clothes and eyes red from the salt. I looked down at the pebbles beneath me, not wanting to stare him in the eyes.

"Its not like that." I started denying my actions to the once deathseeker. Had he not shown up I'm sure my fate would have been much the same, but I was fed up of the fight... Fed up with this war and fed up of life. He gave a gruff snort and sat down next to my heaped form, machina leg outstretched _to the sea..._

"Denying is the first step. Actually doing it is meant to be the last. In case you weren't aware." He lazily said as I started to ruffle to sand out of my ears.

"Is Gippal still here?" I asked, watching the waves creep nearer, begging for me to let them have me. Nooj shook his head and sighed, leaning back against the cliff edge behind us.

"He thought it to risky to stay into the sunrise." He muttered, shaking his head again."This war, Baralai. Its out of both of our hands." I grimmanced, knowing he was right.

"You're right, but what else can we do to unite Spira?" I asked in a gruff voice from the choking. How could I be so selfish to give up my life when so many relied on me?

"That's all very matter-of-factly, Baralai. But I was actually on about the war between Paine and herself." I looked at him stunned. So he knew. I felt so ashamed for him to have seen me so weak over matters of the heart. Although I was already wet I could detect the splutters of rain falling from the dimly grey sky. The south wind blew into our faces making my hair flutter around my face. "You know." He began, standing up and helping me to my feet too. "When the storm hits, I find it best to wait it out. All that damage it can cause is repairable. Look at Kilika for example." He added, walking me up the cliff side to the edge overlooking the entire beach. The waves were lapping hard against the bottom where we had just been and the rain drops were heavily fuelling their destruction. I could see the ripples appear when a drop sunk to the bottom of the blue crystal sea. "Hiding from the storm may seem safer, but waiting it out is the right thing to do. When the lightning hits, you'll have already surpassed the rains." Nooj advised in his gruff voice, walking toward the town swiftly as the rain pelted down hard. Leaving me on the cliffs edge he had given me enough of a metaphor to think about. Wait out the storm. I stared into the water below, I had escaped its prison, a willing convict. Yet so heart bound to my crime to see I was innocent just awaiting sentence. The horrison was further away than it looked, wherever you travel the horrison keeps travelling with you and it never ends until you reach dry land. The storm in-between makes the horrison a lot harder to reach, but it was never impossible. I was standing here, on a cliff, rain pouring down my sea sodden clothes _and I knew in the crystaline knowledge of you._ I was standing here with the waves of love pouring over me. That love _it drove me, like a mad man...to the sea..._ I knew Paine was like the water. She would be more powerful than any barrier she put up, eventually the water would enclose the earth. The rain, so strong, I could hardly feel it as it struck me, I was so wet. All I could think of was _her..._

"My Lord? Praetor Barlai?" A female's voice urged, breaking me from my daze. She was huddled under a robe she was using as an umbrella. "My Lord. What are you doing? 'Tis but soaked out here. Surely you'll be with cold for months?" She asked in worry. I looked up at the sky, tasting the rain and breathing in deep, my lungs still aching from the salt water.

"I'm waiting out the storm."


End file.
